Social Anxieties

Have confidence, they said
In yourself
What you do
Hell, even what you will be

But, as with most things,
Easier said than done
Life keeps changing
And with its tide comes fear

Why do I stutter in front of strangers?
Why do I hide behind my sister?
Why do I turn away from the kind old lady?
Why do I make stupid replies to sensible questions?

That's not always the case
You've got to move on
When you find the courage
You'll become the soul of the party

Why do I speak the loudest but feel unheard?
Why do I stop and glare at those who interrupt me?
Why do I allow the poisonous 'like' to slip into my speech?
Why do I stride with purpose to every destination?

I don't want to make the first sentence
Small talk is crap
Who cares about my opinion, how my day has been?
No one

We can open up to the people we like
With the vain hope they will listen to us
That they will show an interest
And that's all you ever want - attention

It's when they start using it against you
The paranoia comes flooding back
You realise why you wear the façade in the first place
Confidence is no longer the problem

It's everything